An ominously reflective dream I had years ago about my feelings regarding my family..
'So we are all in a dimly lit house- I, my mom, and two brothers
only though.. strange don't know where my dad would have been, but in
this dream he didn't live there and there were two or more huge dogs(we
never had any dogs at all in waking life) running around the house.. these huge dogs would come up and bite only me, ripping into my arm and I
would be bleeding, flesh hanging off and everyone had to keep
remembering to lock the little pad lock on these riggity doors that
barely closed all the way, to what I think was an office room.. and I
didn't feel safe at all and everyone was slow/dismissive about making
sure these dogs didn't get out and bite me as was the feeling of
'ehhh... well they're not biting me' as the response of feeling I would
get from them, and it was so confusing that they wouldn't make Any effort to
protect me so I decided I had to leave..
I then realized after searching
out in the garage was the only one w/ out a bike and now my younger
brother was the only one making any effort to assist me, so I am just
going out to take my younger brothers bike as my other brother was was
in his usual, 'no. because I say so' self.. my younger brother said I
could use his, so I had to although his was all brokeny-like.. so here I am trying to
rage across this busy multiple-lane street on a riggity bike that was
barely moving but I was DETERMINED to get away on my own and start my
own life and I take this slow moving bike across the street filled with
fast moving vehicles and keep struggling with it no matter what and then
I came upon a row of houses thinking I was getting closer to
something.. I end up having to cross through this guys house and he
seems strangely nice and accommodating to let me in almost knowingly but
I can sense there is something more to it so as I am riding this crazy
bike through this guys house down the stairs to where the front door is
and see he has boarded it up with some heavy bricks and had some bizarre
plans for me with his crazy eyes lurking behind me and Im just sitting
there using my bare fingers to hurry and pry these bricks apart before
he can come all the way down the stairs and I finally rip completely
through this front door and there is a neighbor is standing there in the
front as he had heard me calling for someone and basically seemed only
slightly concerned but mentioned that this guys just 'does that' to
people all the time [trying to lock them into his house and such?? nice..] So
off I continue to go as 'fast' as I can on this old crapper thing
supposedly used for transportation.. O.o
A very introspective dream indeed, about my feelings of
safety/protection from my mom and in general my family home growing up, this
slight 'where is dad anyway?' feeling(He traveled all over the world),
feeling unsafe and unprotected at home, and despite not initially having the proper tools/vehicles as everyone
else, my sheer determined power to make something of my life despite
my.. ummm 'strange' initiation to say the least from
this particular incarnation cycle...
and the story continues..
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