Reflecting on Emotional Shadow and Light Patterns

I awoke this morning after having some really sad dreams, leaving me with remnant feelings of painful reflections, as my consciousness is showing me what emotional patterns still need to be dealt with and why they may be continually resurfacing..

I feel this deep sadness and loneliness in my heart that I wish would finally be resolved.. I feel overwhelmed and in need of a deeper family connection in my life, so tired of feeling alone.. I just want to be able to stand in my own light, understand my purpose, and manifest from a space of confidence as an expression of my deepest passion.. I express my feelings only to uncover what shadow aspects need to be addressed, wishing to receive more supportive embrace.. there must be a way to feel connected to others and know that I matter, and while I do at times receive overwhelming amounts of love and respect from so many out there, so I don't understand why I have such a hard time knowing where I stand with people, or knowing how to appropriately express myself.. normally I can be annoyingly ecstatic, then I go into these sad melodramatic states with repetitive emotional patterns that then make me feel angry with myself.. I can see so much beauty in my future and in others always, but I am still working on letting go of deeply embedded traumas..

I know I am never truly alone but my heart feels alone with no.one to share myself with.. how can I dig in and reach the depths of myself when I have never really mattered to anyone in a passionate way, the way I have always wished to be loved.. being truly enveloped in loving affection with mirrored reception is a vision of completion I yearn to experience..

"You may be like a giant trying to befriend a small bug, Virgo. You have absolutely nothing in common and don't even speak the same language. With one accidental move, you could easily squash that little bug. This isn't to say that you can't learn to become best friends. Just know that this kind of relationship is going to take some work."

Today, I received this horoscope that was on point regarding my feelings now of so many of my past relation/friendships in the past but I have never thought of it in this way, I always think I am the one who is inadequate in some way and feel like others don't respond to me because they think I don't measure up or they don't respect anything I do.. psychics have told me my whole life that I intimidate others and/or make them feel small, but I never see it.. this helped me gain some perspective on why many failings have occurred in some of my interactions with others and how I need to be more delicate in my awareness with those I care for and instead of always focusing on how my feelings get hurt so easily, maybe how I may inadvertently hurt others? This shows me potentially Why this comes up so often for me and gives me hope that I can now shift this painful pattern! Learning to accept my sensitivity along with my powerful intensity (Virgo w/ Scorpio Moon + Asc) will take work and much loving support from those who care for me as well ♥

I have been really submersed in feelings of being small, unimportant and abandoned, yet I struggle to express myself and my needs when I am so used to them not being met and that is really the issue here where I need the most work.. my needs are always being met yet I struggle to appreciate my own expressions and have really shut down, only causing more of what I presume to be true.. manifesting it, so to speak.. but I see how I must dig deep and present myself despite fearful trepidation of not being seen, heard or felt accurately and get clear about how I wish to experience relationships..
For those of you who re a part of my life, realize you mean so much more than I may ever be able to express in words, but because I care I wish to learn how to be more present with you all in ways I have not allowed myself to in the past and I hope you can be patient with me and understand how much Love I really have for you All ♥